In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
