You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
