Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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