yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
