ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i think i just lost a toe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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