Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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