Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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