we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
there is glitter all over my balls
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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