if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ttyl tear gas
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize