paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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