Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Shame - the story of my life.
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