I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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