I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
