I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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