Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
