why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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