i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
