just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
