so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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