I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize