i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize