I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
