Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
