im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
