Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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