At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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