I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I understand Curling. That high.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
