Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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