I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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