Kiss
Puke
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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