it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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