my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize