You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
