Got a toothbrush?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You are the jesus of drinking
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
