Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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