He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
