he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
