you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
