There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
