well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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