Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
