I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
