I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
