Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
