Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
