Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
