I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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