Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
