i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
