Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
