We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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