You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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