Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
