gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
