she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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