just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
