But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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