I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
