Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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