sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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