my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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