As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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