This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
