By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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