Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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