the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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