i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
