Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
