While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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