It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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