so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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