I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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