Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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