Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
