guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
