shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
