I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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